From the ashes …

From the ashes, a phoenix shall rise …

I was so excited to finally be going in Hogwarts Castle and FINALLY go on the Forbidden journey ride!

We had been at Universal Studios and Disney World for a week and every time we had gone into Hogsmeade and even looked at the Forbidden Journey Ride, there was a wait time of at least 90 mintues if not longer. So, on our very very last day, we left the place we were staying bright and early and headed to the park with the very intention of the first thing we do was hit Hogwarts Castle and the Forbidden Journey Ride.

The time was 45 minutes so … Woohooo! We get in line and start towards the castle. As we got the front of the castle, I got in the seat tester. I am big. I am very big. And I knew that there was a good chance I wouldn’t be able to go on the ride because I wouldn’t fit. I wanted to know before waiting the full time and before getting excited. So … I sit down and bring down the restraints. The come down, cover my boobs and I felt like I fit. So … Woohooo!!! And into the castle we go…

From the ashes, a phoenix shall rise …

We travel through the castle and I get to see the potions room, walk through Herbology, Dumbledore in his office; as well as see Hermione, Ron and Harry in the History of Magic classroom. And then … then … comes the ride.

From the ashes, a phoenix shall rise …

As I get close to the ride a gentleman who works in Hogwarts asks if I have ever been on the ride before, I say no, and he asks me to come over and try the test seat. This doesn’t surprise me at all, I figured I would have to prove that I could fit in the ride, so I sit down and he pulls down the safety restraints …

This is where I find that while it’s great that they have the seat for you at the beginning of the ride to test, but it does very little good if there isn’t someone there to tell you if the restraints are all the way down. I had brought them down, crushed my boobs, felt I was good. Well apparently I wasn’t. There was a certain place it was to come down and I was too large for the seat.

To the gentleman’s credit, he tried everything to allow me to go. He pushed, he heaved, he tried to crush me, he even leaned against it, all in front of everyone behind me in line, but to no avail, I was too large. He then says “You’re too big, you can’t go, leave the queue.”

From the ashes, a phoenix shall rise …

My dear sweet husband, the Dwarf Slayer, was also asked to sit in the seat and while large, he was told he could go on a modified seat and was ushered back into line with his son, the Little Dwarf Warrior. I was left to wonder what I was to do and eventually asked the oh-so-kind gentleman and he gruffly pointed to a door and said “go in and wait there.” I fight back tears, force a smile on my face, wave at the Little Dwarf Warrior and my Dwarf Slayer and go through the door to find myself unceremoniously deposited at the end of the ride.

From the ashes, a phoenix shall rise …

I think the ride lasted 10 – 12 minutes and the entire time, I fought the tears that were coming unbidden to my eyes as streams of happy, excited people disembarked the ride, stared at me, and then went into the gift shop. Eventually, after what seemed an eternity, my Dwarf Slayer and the Little Dwarf Warrior got off the ride and I could see the excitement in the Little Warrior’s eyes. While sweet, it was like a knife inside the already deep wound that I was not allowed to be apart of this fun, that I was not allowed to join in, that I was denied the one and only thing I had wanted to do on this entire trip.

Little Dwarf Warrior immediately started to ask why I didn’t go on the ride and why I was so upset and why I was so quiet. I was then left with having to explain to this 7 ½ year old, that his step-mother was too heavy to go on the ride and that sometimes heavy people don’t have the same opportunities as those who are not as heavy. Could this get any worse? Having to explain that you were told you were too fat to go on a ride to your own child?

From the ashes, a phoenix shall rise …

I am devastated. The one and only part of this trip that I wanted to experience and my size kept me from it; my weight kept me from it. And I was made to go through this awful, humiliating, and embarrassing event that I then got the pleasure of reliving as I tried to explain it to my child.

I tried my best to hide my pain, though I did hide in the bathroom for awhile so I could cry and let it out. The irony that Moaning Myrtle was moaning in the bathroom as well, was not lost on me.

As I sat in that stall, listening to the cries of Moaning Myrtle, I realized that I had two roads open before me. I could let this experience devastate me, send me into a huge depression, ruin all things Harry Potter for me and keep me from doing other things in my life, or I could take this event and make it my catalyst. I could let the old me, the large me, the fat me, burn in the fire of that experience and from the ashes let rise a different me, a healthy me, a happy me and a content me.

From the ashes, a phoenix shall rise …

And so I have chosen the path of rebirth and renewal. I know the journey will not be easy. I know that the journey will be fraught with difficulties, blocks in my path, turns in the road, and even mini fires with other renewals, but I am determined to see the phoenix rise from these ashes!